Mother of the Year

Tonight was the American Idol season premiere. I think the judges deserve combat pay. I couldn’t listen to that much bad singing without shooting somebody, probably myself.

So, anyway, this evening, Baby Girl and I were watching, and as the show went to a break, Ryan Seacrest promised us all sorts of bad singing and drama after the break.

I said, “I’m scared and excited all at the same time! Kind of like the first time I had ear sex.”

I thought for a second that Baby Girl was going to choke to death. I’m sure she was thinking, wait, FIRST time? WTF, mate!?.

I then said, ‘I think I did it wrong though. I never did hear him coming’.

And then, after she finished choking and coughing, she told me how much she hated me.

Are there any sweeter words to a mother’s ear? I don’t think so.

I think I finally got her back for this.

It took me long enough.