Tonight’s the Night

Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?


If you’re looking for something to pass the time until you can go get your copy of the book, or if you have to wait until  someone else finishes it (in which case, you have my deepest sympathy), go take the test and see which house you’d be sorted into.  You are, of course, obligated to come back and tell me which house you’re in.

Also, I saw a t-shirt recently that said ‘Don’t make go all Avada Kedavra on your ass!’.  The first person who sends me that t-shirt in  size None Of Your Fucking Business will have my eternal gratitude and also, I will send you a slightly melted Twix bar that came all the way from California.




…The Eagle has landed.

If by ‘Eagle’, I mean a tall, tanned impossibly good looking soldier type, who, by the way, got a phone number from the very cute waitress at IHOP within 30 minutes of getting into town.

It turns out they sorta knew each other from High School and each deeply approved of how the other has turned out.

I’m tellin’ y’all right now, if he spends the whole visit chasing tail, I’m gonna kick his ass.

And now, I present you with a crappy camera phone picture! There will be many other pictures (of ALL the kids. I know. Exciting, huh?), but this is the best I can do for now.

Oh, and the little fucker brought me a Twix.


The countdown is on

In less than 48 hours, my baby boy will be home.  For 2 whole weeks.

That’s as exciting as this post gets because I honestly cannot think about anything else.

For those who may not know, my oldest son, Nate, is the Army. He is stationed in California and it has been more than a year since we last saw him.   We miss him BADLY.

In lieu of actual content (because of the excitement!) I will tell a story on the boy.

The story is entitled:  To This Day, One of the Most Embarrassing Moments of My Life.

Subtitled: Thanks a LOT, Nate, You Little Sumbitch

What had happened was, we were in a grocery store, waiting in line at the checkout.  It was a bit of a wait and I was perusing the impulse items.  I was eying the candy bars, thinking about having one. You know, on impulse. LIKE THE GROCERY STORE MEANT FOR ME TO, NATE.

So anyway, I make my selection and reach out to grab it (was likely a Twix, for the curious among you) and Nate flings himself in front of the candy bars, throws his arms in front of the candy in a protective manner and yells (oh yes, he yelled), ‘Mom, Nooooo!’

I swear to God and all that is holy, I almost killed the little bastard right there in Brookshire’s.

What I did instead was laugh weakly, mutter something about my diabetic aunt, fling money at the cashier for my groceries (which did NOT include any fucking candy bars) and hurried my ass out of there like it was on fire and I had an extinguisher in the car.

He was about 10 years old at the time and in the roughly 10 years since, he has pissed me off any number of times but he has never managed to surpass that occasion.


Pookie is the Man. But I rock.

My four year old is convinced that dinosaurs still exist. The highlight of his young life remains his visit to Dinosaur World in Kentucky (The lowlight would probably be this evening when he upchucked all over himself at the dinner table. It was a definite lowlight for me, anyway).

So anyway, he’s convinced that dinosaurs are still roaming the Earth. Do not try to convince him otherwise.

So last night when the Pookster got home, he directed me to this website. Y’all. Ok, just look at the video.

They have just started their North American Tour.

They are supposed to be in Little Rock in November. Little man’s birthday is in November.

Coincidence? I think not!

Ok, so it sure won’t help convince him that dinosaurs are extinct, but MAN, will it ever be cool.



Mrs. Chili nominated me as a Rockin’ Girl Blogger!    Of course she also bitched about my lack of posting at the same time.  What can I say? She lurves me.

So now I’m supposed to nominate five more Rockin’ Girl Bloggers.  Right?  I think so.  Well, I’m going to anyway.  That’s how I roll.

(I rock and I roll)

I would, of course, nominate The Chillster, but I think I’m not supposed to since she’s already been nominated.   Anyway, here’s the list:

1) SweatPantsMom– Yeah, I know she’s practically an internet rock star now (but I knew her ‘when’!), but she still rocks and rocks hard, so I’m nominating her sweatpants wearing ass.

2) SugarMommy– Her husband just got home from being overseas for the past year.  She kept things all quiet on the home front (well, she has kids, so the best she could manage was ‘down to a dull roar on the home front’) and I’m so happy for her that he is home now.  She rocks.

3)  Jen at Once More With Feeling– She handles stress by quoting bad Bill Murray films. She’s buying her first home.  She’s goofy as all hell and we have the same birthday.  She rocks.

4) Fishie– She does more in one day than I do in a month. She rocks the multi-tasking.

5)  Ree at The Pioneer Woman– Yet another internet rockstar, but lest you think I’m a lemming, I read her BEFORE she got famous.  She’s hell with a camera and photoshop and also, her husband is hotter’n a firecracker.  She’s rocks the ranch, baby

That is, by no means, the complete list of girl bloggers whom I think rock, but I could only do five. Because that’s THE RULE and also, because I am THE LAZY.   Besides, all us girl bloggers rock, right?  RIGHT?

Blogger’s Block

Mrs. Chili, I am fine. And God bless you for asking.

I read the entire account of your vacation and made Pookie promise to take me to Colonial Williamsburg ‘someday’.   It’s officially on The List.

Along with places like Napa Valley and The Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY.  And really everywhere, with the exceptions of Africa (why? Do I not get enough heat, pissed off felines and reptiles here? At least here, the dingo’s aren’t eating my baby.), all of Asia and I don’t really want to go to Mexico.  Oh, and Australia ain’t high on my list either.


There are many reasons I haven’t been posting much lately. Reason Number Two is that this has just been a crazy month for us so far (in mostly good ways) and I’m always busy.

Except that I’m not always busy, which leads us to Reason Number Three which is that I am just the laziest bitch ever.   I’ll start to write something and I’ll realize that I do not feel up to putting the energy into it to make it worth anyone else’s time to read it.

I do have things to talk about (LIKE MY SON. WHO IS COMING HOME.  LIKE, NEXT WEEK, FOR GOD’S SAKE). I have time in which to talk about them.  I simply don’t have the motivation right now.   Most times there’s a little bit of me in my posts, if you know what I mean.  I’m not usually only expending the tiny amount of physical energy it takes to type, I’m also expending mental and emotional energy.

I just don’t have either of those to spare at the moment.  However, I have enjoyed typing his post and do not at all feel as though I’d rather be hitting myself in the head with a wooden mallet, which is how I’ve been feeling lately while trying to force myself to post, so maybe there’s hope for me yet.

Anyway. I’m sure I’ll be back in fighting form soon, armed with pictures of kids and dogs and my sharp wit.  Thank God I’ll have lots of pictures.

Oh, and for those who were wondering what Reason Number One is?  I’m re-reading the Harry Potter books AGAIN and am on book 4 (Goblet of Fire) and still have to read 5 (Order of the Phoenix) and 6 (Half-Blood Prince) before July 21st at precisely midnight-ish.

Why then, you ask?   To you I say, ‘Dude, where the fuck have you been?

(seriously, if you don’t know, Google it, you cave dwelling bastard)

My oldest, Nate, is coming home for two weeks on the 19th, just two days before the new book’s release, so our tradition of him bugging the shit out of me to finish reading the book already so he can have his turn will continue!    Yay!

Anyway, hopefully I’ll post again soon, but if I don’t, I’m okay.  If I wasn’t okay, Pookie would let y’all know, I promise (but you may feel free to ask after me anyway because it makes me feel  all warm and gooshy on the inside like a chocolate chip cookie just out of the oven).