Finally

This is the last day of Holidailies.  Finally.   The next time I say I’m going to post every day for two months in a row, would someone just slap the piss out of me?   That would be awesome.

Instead, at least for the next while, I will be following this credo.  (thanks for the link Margaret!  You didn’t leave your URL so I could link to you, but I’d be happy to fix that!)  Because I’m just not interesting enough to blog every day and I know it.

I’ve left any thought of New Year’s resolutions to the last minute.  I think I’m not going to make any. I don’t see any point in setting myself up to fail and then being pissed at myself about it.

What are your resolutions?

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My final holiday video (thank God).   Same Auld Lang Syne by Dan Fogelberg.     RIP, Dude.

Foamy is the Man

Today’s post will be almost entirely comprised of the holiday video.   It’s Foamy the Squirrel talking from his heart about Christmas.

But first, I did wear my Jesus Hates the Yankees shirt to my mother-in-laws house.   Under a sweater.

Ok, so I did show it to her right before we left and she pronounced it ‘ugly’.  She meant spiritually ugly, not regular ugly.    Then I blamed her son and fled, before she could stab me with a piano.

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Foamy the squirrel in No Christmas For You!

The Winner and still Champeen..

Me, of course.

Got to play Scrabble while wearing my new Triple Nerd Score t-shirt.   It’s got powerful mojo, man.

My two stepsons (Pookies boys) are down for the weekend.  They continue to grow rapidly despite my repeated requests that they stop it already.

We’re all running up to see my mother-in-law tomorrow.  I’ve told her not to cook for us. We’ll see how well she listened.   I won’t yell at her too loud if she fixes a ham.  And maybe some of her awesome potato salad.  Ooh, and some beans.

Then, tomorrow night, I’m kicking their asses at poker.

Then, Sunday, my brother Joel is coming up since  he couldn’t come up at Christmas.  So we’ll be having homemade fettucine alfredo.

Then, I’ll be kicking everyone’s ass at Monopoly.

It’s gonna be a good weekend.

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Josh Groban singing O Holy Night

I bet the Chocolate Coins flavor is awesome though

I believe I mentioned that Baby Girl got a holiday gift pack of Jones Sodas for Christmas.  I don’t know if y’all have heard about Jones, but along with their regular drinks, they make special flavors for special occasions.  Special flavors like Turkey and Gravy and Christmas Ham and Latke.   We wisely decided to not to buy the packs continuing those flavors (they do claim that their Chanukah pack is kosher, which I think is awesome), because no one in their right minds would drink those flavors  (and if you did get those flavors and drink them, you’re not in your right mind).

Included in Baby Girl’s gift pack were Cherry Pie flavor (she gave it a thumb’s up), Blueberry pie flavor (another thumbs up), Lemon Meringue flavor (she’s too scared to try it), and Apple Pie flavor which she described as tasting like alcoholic butterscotch.  I asked her if that was a good thing. She took a swig, grimaced and said she couldn’t make up her mind.

Then she said it was so disgusting that she couldn’t stop drinking it.

I’m not sure I get that.

Maybe she’s one of those people that can’t stop smelling the rotten milk.  She probably farts and pulls the covers over her own head.

Little weirdo.

I would try the soda and tell you what I think, but it’s hard to type when you’re driving the porcelein bus.

Oh! Also, Pookie got me a shirt that says ‘Jesus hates the Yankees’, which I plan to wear to my mother-in-laws house this weekend.   The combination of blasphemy and trashing her beloved Yankees might make her lose it and stab me with a piano, but it will be worth it.

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In keeping with the soda theme of today’s post; Coca Cola Christmas commerical circa 1984- I’d Like to Buy the World a Coke:

Bah Humbug

An excerpt from an email I received today (as I’m sure many of you did as well):

“Hey, NaBlo members! Anyone interested in an even bigger challenge than posting every day for a month is invited to head over to the Blog365 group, where members will be trying to post every day in 2008”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

NO.

I’m actually quite grateful for Holidailies as if I hadn’t been posting every day in December, I might have thought for a moment that signing up to post every day for a year was a good idea.  Thanks to Holidailies, I know that I get quite pissy about the whole thing about 50 days in.

See, there is something wrong with me, some kind of enzyme or something, maybe, that will not let me just fucking skip a day already if I have  already said I would post every day.

Hell, I rebelled against myself last night and refused to post until this morning and slept badly as a result.   I just don’t need that kind of pressure for an entire year.

If posting every day for a year souds like a good idea to you go here: http://blog365.ning.com/

If posting every day for a year sounds like a really bad idea to you, pass the Cheetos and scooch over. I’m with you.

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The Chipmunks Christmas song

I think I’ll be sticking with hot cocoa on New Year’s Eve.

We had a lovely, lovely Christmas.

Except I totally woke up with a hangover.

Here’s a tip: If you’re not much of a drinker avoid the doctored eggnog on Christmas Eve.   I had one teeny tiny drink, didn’t even get minorly stupid and woke up tasting eggnog flavored pre-vomit and feeling like my head was going to fall off.

Thankfully, Pooter is not an early riser and I had time to self medicate with coffee, Pepcid and ibuprofen and I was back in top form before he ever woke up.

Pookie got me a shirt that has a triple word score box from Scrabble on it that says Triple Nerd Score.     There has never been a more accurate piece of clothing, ever.   I do loves me some Scrabble.

Pooter got a RoboRaptor (which he named Satellite), which is only the coolest thing ever.

Pookie got a St. Louis Cardinals tie from Baby Girl which looks devastatingly handsome on him.

And Baby girl got a holiday pack of Jones Sodas with flavors like Cherry Pie and Lemon Meringue.

Of course, we all got other things (especially Pooter. That little shit cleaned up), but those were some of the faves.

So what was your favorite gift this year?

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Bing Crosby singing Silent Night

Oh, and also, Happy Birthday to Jesus too

Besides being Christmas, today is also my daughter’s 18th birthday. She’s a grown-up. She’s actually been a grown-up for some time now, in terms of maturity. Sure, she has the occasional teenage girl meltdown, but hell, so do I and I’m 38.

I couldn’t be more proud of the kind of person she’s turned out to be.

She has a good heart, she’s kind to children, animals and old folks, she doesn’t take any crap and she’s got a wicked sense of humor.

Also, pretty soon now, she’ll be able to belch the alphabet.

Your typical southern belle, in other words.

Here are some pictures of my very own Christmas miracle.

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Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas, Baby Girl.   I’m looking forward to seeing your next 18 years.

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My very favorite Christmas video ever.  Bing Crosby and David Bowie.  Gold, baby.  Holiday gold.