What a Bee-yotch

Pooter got stung by a bee today.  It was very much not fun.  In his own words, “The bee looked dead in my pool but then it crawled on my hand. That was creepy!”.

He’s learned a very valuable lesson today, namely to use a cup when fishing out (allegedly) dead insects from the pool.   He also learned that bees are not necessarily going to be grateful that you’ve saved their lives.  In fact, they will immediately negate that saving of the life by stinging you and therefore killing themselves.

Bees are ornery little fuckers, is what I’m saying here.

Pooter was very brave…at first.  He pulled out the stinger (or the ‘barb’, as he calls it) himself, but it all went downhill after that.   Now this is a kid who not two weeks ago took a t-ball to the cheek and laughed, so he’s a pretty tough little booger.  Apparently, a bee sting on the pad of your thumb is way worse than a ball to the face.

For awhile there, he was convinced the pain would never end.   I wish now I’d videotaped the whole thing because you people would have been swept into the drama.  “Oh, Mother dear, when will this suffering be at an end?  Why, amongst all His children, has God forsaken me?”

Then after he made me call  various members of his fan club so he could update them on his condition, he pronounced himself all better and we went outside and played soccer in our flip-flops (ouchie toes!) and sprayed each other with the hose.

Honestly, I’m just glad he didn’t make me cart his little ass to the ER so he could get a cast on his thumb.  I’m not sure where he gets the dramatic streak, but I SWEAR TO GOD IN HEAVEN, I CAN’T BEAR IT MUCH LONGER!

(ACTING!)   <—That was going to link to a video of Jon Lovitz as The Master Thespian from Saturday Night Live.  I cannot find any such video in all of Youtube.  I’m a sad, sad girl.

Also, on a not related at all note: RIP-George Carlin.   I shall say dirty words often in the next few days in honor of you.

Okay, more often.

Pedantic fuckers.


Dear Pookie,

Happy Father’s Day, Motherfucker!


I know I haven’t posted lately but I did have a few things I wanted to share with you all.

First, Pookie got some cool video editing software and has now leapt into the profitable world of YouTubing.   Of course, by profitable, I mean not at all, but he loves doing it.

This is my favorite so far (because I’m not in it).  It’s short and sweet, starring Baby Girl and The Poot.

Also, my friend Charlie sent me this thing for Father’s Day and it’s kinda late, I know, but maybe some of you could use it.  I’ve pasted it below:

With June 15th quickly approaching, Outback would like to help satisfy what all dad’s are craving this Father’s Day – food! If you bring dad to Outback on June 15, he’ll receive a $10 certificate valid on your next visit.  Dad will need to need to activate the certificate online at http://outback.com/dadsdaywhere he’ll also automatically be entered in an online sweepstakes to win a $100 gift card when they enter the promo code found on the bottom of the $10 certificate.

The certificate can be used at any Outback location from June 18th– July 20th with the minimum purchase of $25. You can learn more about this promotion and some of Outback’s new menu items by visiting: http://outback.com/.

That’s it for now, but I’ll be back soon because I got Fauve memed me (DAYS ago) and y’all know I can’t resist a meme.