Happy Halloween

I hope everyone has a great one. And a safe one.

Save me some Tootsie Rolls.

P.S. Tomorrow I start blogging everyday for a month. I hope y’all stop by often.


This is the last thing I’ll say about it, I promise

To the person who googled this: detroit tigers D + pumpkin template, and found me instead:

You are obviously a Detroit fan and I’m sure the smug tone of my last post did not make you feel better about the crushing defeat your team suffered at the hands of my team, the St. Louis Cardinals.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sorry your team sucked, but I am sorry if I made you feel bad about it.

(I know, I’m being totally mean, but for the first time in my life, a team I was rooting for won the World Series. I swear I’ll go back to being a good person very soon. Really.)

Go Cards! (Updated!)

I don’t hear much about baseball in the blogging world. I guess everybody’s too busy creating actual content and being all writerly to care about it.

However, as y’all know, I could give a crap about content, I use all my creativity to figure out what kind of ice cream tastes best with chocolate cake (vanilla), and I use non-words like writerly.

So we’re talking about baseball tonight. Specifically the World Series.

Now, I’m a Cubs fan. It’s genetics, I think. My dad was a Cubs fan, and my brothers are Cubs fans. Since I’ve already forsaken the family name by not being a Democrat, I stay true to the Cubbies to make up for it.

However, as per usual, the Cubs had their collective heads up their collective asses all year and the post season was but a dream for them.

So, Pookie is a St. Louis Cardinals fan. Our running joke is that we have a mixed marriage as Card fans and Cub fans do not generally get along well. We compromise during the regular season by rooting for each other’s team as long as the two teams aren’t playing each other.

This leads to lots of snarky phone calls from Pookie at work during evening games as the Cards are invariably whipping the Cubs asses.

Anyway, I’ve come to respect this team and it’s players and the manager, Tony La Russa. I love watching them play.

The Cards made it to the Series this year, against the Detroit Tigers. The entered the Series as the underdog, but are now leading 3 games to 1.

They’ve come this far through skill, strategy, persverence, a hell of a bullpen and the sheer force of my will.

That’s right, I’m taking partial credit for this. My eyes have burned through that screen every game night willing them to win.

Ahh! The Tigers just scored a two run homer. This makes me unhappy.

I’ll be back later.

Update: Ha! Take THAT, you crack smoking Tiger fans! Ha!

The Cards have won the series. Oh, and Tony? You’re welcome. I was glad to do it.

It seems like it’s been longer than that

Y’all, we missed a very important occasion. It was my first blog birthday on Oct. 17. As my gift to you to commemorate the occasion, I give you this. No need to thank me!

Now that I’ve gorked out you entirely (well, if you clicked on that link, anyway), I offer up my very first post for your consideration and/or ridicule:

“Well,after much futzing (it’s a word!) and fidgeting, I am now down with the blog. Now I gotta write something, huh? Damnit, I knew there was a catch.

I’m still learning all the bells and whistles here. Serious clicking of random buttons goin on here.

It’s Monday. And I? Am not at work. Because I? Am totally the boss. Except for the many thousands of people who are my bosses. But they’re stinky and we don’t like them. I am the boss of my little spot and I do make the schedules, so here I sit; Monday morning and nothing better to do than create my first ever blog. Whoo. It’s good to be the Queen.”

I know, literary genius, right? I actually spent the morning reading through my archives and enjoying myself immensely. Not because the writing is any good, but because of the comments. Back in the day, my family would just take over the comments section and say the most awful things. I actually kind of miss that. I am the crazy.

Speaking of my archives, I never did figure out how to just move them here, but I do have a link to them up in my blogroll, so please feel free to go peruse if you’re so inclined. It’s the very flrst link (of course). Just don’t peruse too throughly, because I totally plan to re-post some of those during November. Because, let’s face it, there’s no way I can be interesting 30 days in a row without borrowing from myself.

I’m actually really excited about National Blog Posting Month, a lovely idea from the lovely Mrs. Kennedy.

I’m still open to any ideas y’all might have so feel free to post them in comments.

Some things you can look forward to in November:

1) The story of how I got stabbed in the FACE. With bloodshed and everything.

2) How a miracle occured in my van!

3) Some excellent YouTube offerings that I have been holding onto.

4) And some other random shit.

Exciting, yes?


Ok folks, I added Haloscan commenting to this blog. It shouldn’t change anything for y’all, but it gives me the ability to answer your comments individually in e-mail without hijacking my own comments section and it also gives me the ability to delete comments.

I’m not a deleter by nature, believeing in freedom of speech and all that, so I don’t expect it to happen often, but I do like having the option.

So, just to see how this works, I want y’all to go take this test to see how cool you are and come back and tell me in comments how you did. It’s not just a cool test, it’s a cool test.

So, go. Take the test. Come back and tell me how ya did. That’s an order.

P.S. I still love Fonzie.


commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

I Have Arrived ( Now edited for your pleasure)

This just in from the comments!

“anonymous said…

Why don’t you write a post on the reasons why Little Miss Sunshine, the perfect wife of the perfect doctor, tears strangers down…low self-esteem or jealousy are my two guesses. Anyone in Texas or blog land want to chime in?

Perhaps more people would read your stuff if it was enlightening or even well-written.

Go back to baking cookies and wiping butts…methinks your true talent lies there. Most writers don’t need a “hook”–their words speak for themselves. Your criticizing others speaks volumes of your character.

I’m ashamed for you.”

I know. Awesome, right? My first mean comment! Well, my first mean comment that didn’t come from a close friend or family member. Because those are some mean motherfuckers, and Anonymous looks like an amateur in comparison.

Nonetheless, I am excited by ths development, because only the big bloggers get mean comments. So don’t let the amateurish quailty and poor writing here fool you; I’ve hit the big time, baby.

I do have a few issues with the comment though, and I thought I’d take a moment to list them here.

First off we have:
“Why don’t you write a post on the reasons why Little Miss Sunshine”

Sadly, I am not Little Miss Sunshine. I realize you don’t know me all that well, Anonymous, but I am not the least bit sunshiney. I am however, incredibly cute , especially when I smile, what with the dimples and all.

Then we have: “the perfect wife of the perfect doctor”

Ha! That’s a good one. I am not a perfect wife, far from it, as a matter of fact. Pookie may feel free to chime in here, although he’ll be mighty uncomfortable trying to sleep on one of the love seats if he does. Also, Pookie is not a doctor. I’ve never even hinted that he might be a doctor and am really not sure where you came up with that. Although he does like to play doctor and is, in fact, quite good at it.

“tears strangers down…low self-esteem or jealousy are my two guesses.”

My guess would be both. I hate myself and I hate you. Maybe I need to see a doctor? Oh, Pooookie….

“Go back to baking cookies”

Oh, that’s a good one. Not that baking cookies is not a noble pursuit, but I don’t do it. Don’t get me wrong, I loves me some cookies, but to be frank (and possibly give you actual ammunition against me, instead of the shit you’ve made up out of whole cloth), I am not a good cook. There, I said it. I feel better now, don’t you?

Now, as to the rest of it, where you essentially call me a shitty writer, well, ya got me there. I’ve never referred to myself as a writer because I’m not. I’m a blogger, nothing less, nothing more.

By the way, in the interest of full disclosure, Anonymous is angry with me for having an opinion of *her* site by way of a site called Trainwrecks.

(Edit: Anonymous found me thanks to a link attached to my name on a comment I made at Trainwrecks. The nice (or not-so-nice, depending on who you are) people at Trainwrecks are not affiliated with Anonymous. Tarte Au Citron is a contributor to Trainwrecks and is most decidedly NOT Anonymous.)

(Also, I love my cousin Jo.)

If you feel up to following the trail, please do, but I’m not linking to her here, because I don’t have to. I, at no time, commented at her personal blog. Also, whoever DD is that defended me in her comments? Thanks! Please say Hi, so I can thank you properly.

Ok, I have to run to Wal-mart, eat some fish and fried green tomatoes and then watch Project Runway. Try not to envy me.