Mother of the Year

Tonight was the American Idol season premiere. I think the judges deserve combat pay. I couldn’t listen to that much bad singing without shooting somebody, probably myself.

So, anyway, this evening, Baby Girl and I were watching, and as the show went to a break, Ryan Seacrest promised us all sorts of bad singing and drama after the break.

I said, “I’m scared and excited all at the same time! Kind of like the first time I had ear sex.”

I thought for a second that Baby Girl was going to choke to death. I’m sure she was thinking, wait, FIRST time? WTF, mate!?.

I then said, ‘I think I did it wrong though. I never did hear him coming’.

And then, after she finished choking and coughing, she told me how much she hated me.

Are there any sweeter words to a mother’s ear? I don’t think so.

I think I finally got her back for this.

It took me long enough.


8 Responses to “Mother of the Year”

  1. magneto bold too Says:

    You are so cruel.
    You are awesome.

    Excuse me while I go spend some quality time with Moo, got something to share šŸ˜‰

  2. Chris Says:

    I vowed not to watch but I did. It was tragically bad in a good kind of way.

  3. Jen Says:

    OMG. YOU milady CRACK me up.
    And don’t you LOVE it when you get one over on’em. Rocks MY world. šŸ˜‰

  4. Mandy Lou Says:

    As usual – you crack me up! Almost spit diet coke out of my nose – almost…

  5. fauve Says:


    and I will totally be stealing that too…

  6. mrschili Says:


    I don’t watch American Idol (or any other “reality” show, for that matter) so I can’t chime in about that, but the ear sex thing is going into my arsenal…

  7. Pookie Says:

    This is yet another advantage to home-schooling: kids don’t learn filthy jokes at school. They learn them at home, as God intended. šŸ˜‰

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