I hope a roving gang of rabid raccoons catches him alone in the parking lot after school one day


When I read this:

Teacher dispatches raccoon with nail gun

HUNTSVILLE, Ark. – A high school teacher killed a raccoon with a nail gun after discovering the planned subject of a skinning demonstration was alive. I assumed that the teacher had been either about to start his demonstration or indeed had started his demonstration on what he believed to be a dead raccoon and the raccoon sort of woke up, tried to attack him and he grabbed up the closest weapon to defend himself, thus killing the raccoon.

That’s not exactly what happened.

What happened was that a parent brought the animal in for the teacher to use in a skinning demo. The teacher, seeing that the animal was not the carcass he’d been expecting, took it out back and shot it with the nail gun, rendering it dead.

From the article:

“He used the nail gun to, as they say, to dispatch the animal,” ( Superintendent)Lievsay said. “It wasn’t like he held a nail gun against the head of a cute little animal in front of the class.”

What the fuck?

Ya know, I’m already not a huge fan of dissecting animals in the classroom. All I remember from dissecting frogs in the 9th grade is the godawful smell. It’s like dead mixed with another kind of dead with maybe a splash of vinegar.

I don’t like it, but I’m sure there’s some merit to it for someone. Future doctors and serial killers, maybe.

But I have a particular problem with bringing little Rocky to school in a cage and then ‘dispatching’ him with a nail gun.

Here’s the deal, the guy didn’t ‘dispatch’ the raccoon. He killed the raccoon. He made it dead. It is an ex-raccoon, thanks to him.

I’m just not sure why the little thing had to die just so the kids could see a skinning demo. I’m not going to Google it, but I’m certain that skinning instructions and video can be found on the internet. Why not learn from an animal who has already died?

It would be different if the raccoon had been hit by a car and his body was used as a teaching aid. This little guy was caught in a live trap (oh, the irony) and carried to his death, probably completely terrified the whole time.

I’m no bleeding heart, and I’m certainly no vegan. I’m omnivorous. I eat meat and I wear leather. What I don’t do is condone killing animals for information that can be had at any time, simply by typing the right words into a search engine.

It all ends well, though. He’s been firmly told not to kill any more animals on school grounds.

The kids are still fair game, though.