Some random, yet completely true facts about Chuck Norris

• Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

• Most people know that Descarte said, “I think, therefore I am.” What most people don’t know is that that quote continues, “…afraid of Chuck Norris.”

• The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn’t kill you in your sleep.

• He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.

• Lightning never strikes twice in the same place because Chuck Norris is looking for it.

• Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.

• Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

• There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

• Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

• Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

• Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

For more random Chuck Norris facts, go here. You know you want to. Don’t make me call Chuck.

Oh, and also. This is what you get when you try to Google Chuck Norris.