Some random, yet completely true facts about Chuck Norris

  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  • Most people know that Descarte said, “I think, therefore I am.” What most people don’t know is that that quote continues, “…afraid of Chuck Norris.”
  • The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn’t kill you in your sleep.
  • He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.
  • Lightning never strikes twice in the same place because Chuck Norris is looking for it.
  • Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.
  • Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
  • There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
  • Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
  • Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

For more random Chuck Norris facts, go here. You know you want to. Don’t make me call Chuck.

Oh, and also. This is what you get when you try to Google Chuck Norris.

11 Responses to “Some random, yet completely true facts about Chuck Norris”

  1. Fish Says:

    I loves me some Chuck!

    True story: a friend of mine from middle school was injured in his late teens falling off a mountain. It was a miracle he survived and yet there was doubt as to whether he could walk again. Being a Chuck fan, his family sought the Chuckmeister out and requested a visit.

    Apparently they hit it off and still keep in touch. My friend ended up working on screenplays and has been in movies, and still loves Chuck. He recovered fully, in part, docs said, to his extremely healthy physique acquired by emulating the Master.

    You got to love a man who can kill you with his bare hands and yet he comes and sees a poor injured fan, keeps in touch, and gets him in the door of Hollywood.

  2. magnetobold Says:

    OMG!!! We have regular Chuck Norris fests here! I admit I have never seen one of his movies, but I bow before his Norrisness…..
    Been aimlessly blogsurfing so I don’t know where I found you but I am glad I did 🙂 You sound like my kinda gal.

  3. mrschili Says:

    You are a very funny (though slightly twisted) woman. I dig that about you…

  4. Pat K Says:

    If an episode of =Walker Texas Ranger
    ever changed your life, You might be a Redneck.

  5. Pat K Says:

    Another little known fact.

    Even Chuck Norris=Cant take one of Marys old Bra’s
    away from old ladys at a yard sale.

  6. Michelle Says:

    Thanks for the Chuck-les. heh. :o)

  7. Sarah Says:

    The “laughter” in “manslaughter” is hilarious! And who knew Google had such a great sense of humor?

  8. Chris Says:

    I love the leg thing. You gotta respect Chuck for that.

  9. jen Says:

    these were hilarious – love the last one. The vis of Chuck & the devil playing poker every wednesday,, “he should have seen it coming” etc. heee..

  10. Wiener Says:

    Yeah that’s one whit google is realy funny 😀 damn… XD

  11. fred Says:

    Chuck Norris uppercuted a horse and it became a geraif.

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