I tend to watch Project Runway on Thursday night instead of Wednesday (the night it airs) for two reasons.

1. I have Tivo . I can fast forward through the commercials. I can rewind to the best bits. I can pause it while I yell obsenities at the TV. Seriously, if you don’t have TiVo? Get it.

2. By the time it’s all Tivo’d, it’s 10 o’clock and time for this old bird to get to bed. Early to bed, early to rise makes a girl surly, rude and unwise.

So I didn’t start watching last night’s episode until just now. The title of this post was what I said, verbatim, when I saw the twist at the beginning of the episode.

Jo, why you didn’t call me?? I know you were planted in front of the TV last night, you no Tivo having bitch.

( I have to break in here to tell you that Kayne just caused Tim Gunn to say ‘Oh, Jesus!’. Awesome.)

Oh, Geez, Laura’s crying. Usually, I have no respect for that kind of thing, because Girlfriend, grow up. This is business and you got no business crying. But she’s pregnant and exhausted and is crying against her will. I feel for her.

Ok, Vincent’s model (yes, Vincent!) was in an accident. She’s fine but they replaced her with another model. One a lot bigger than the first model. So big she broke the zipper in his top. Now y’all know how I feel about Vincent, but that is just crazy. Was there an effort to find a like sized model? Criminey.

Ok, my impressions of each outfit:

Angela’s: HATE.

Kayne’s: Meh. Think he’s gonna get points taken off for not quite following the guidelines given.

Laura’s: LOVE. (I thought I should be equally as emphatic about love as hate.) That model looks adorable, respectable and sexy.

Michael’s: Oh, damn. That man can make a dress look good and make a good-looking woman look even better when she wears it.

Jeffrey’s: I don’t need to see a drug test. That boy is smoking dope. The good shit, too. This dress would be appropriate at a cocktail party given by the Osbournes.

Uli’s: Eh, not so much.

Vincent’s: Don’t look now, there’s a high class hooker on the runway.

And the winner is…..Laura!! Whoohoo!

Now, let’s see who’s leaving.

Aww, man. It’s Kayne. The one time his outfit doesn’t look like it belongs in a closet at Graceland and he fucks it up with this little white ribbon.

For a brief shining moment there, I thought Jeffrey was gonna go.

Oh, the humanity.

4 Responses to “Buh.”

  1. JoTheNoTiVoHavingBitch Says:

    I had worked 9hours… taken my kid to his tutor… then a karate lesson… made dinner (ok… ordered the pizza myself.. no one did this for me Contrar’… I had to).

    Project Runway is my crack. My entire goal of that evening.. THIS show.

    I watched the show… and during commercials…wash clothes, lay the next days clothes out for self & kid, write a check for kid’s lunch money, pay a bill, listen to my mother blather on (forgive me Lord… but “blather” is the fitting description) about the new church she attended that evening, I also fed the dogs… and began working on a plan for world peace.

    And when it was all said and done.. I showered… collapsed into bed… and thought “Oh Shit! I didn’t call her.. she’s gonna be pissed”. Yet, I still fell asleep. Peacefully even.

    ** may i note that it was a Pentacostal church and Mom didn’t think it funny when I asked if she had to bite the head off of a snake on her first visit… or do they save that for the Baptism.
    I, however, was having a hell of an evening and needed the laugh.

    Contrar’… “I, Jo, promise to never watch a juicy Project Runway episode again without calling you to prompt you into watching it” In the future… fuck the clothes, the next days wardrobe, (got to feed my dogs though.. sorry), the kid needs to get a job and buy his own damn lunch… and yeah.. and as for my Mom? 🙂 well.. I’m afraid… I’ll probably still listen to her excitement about the new curch. I’m just glad her health has improved… You think it’s all them, there snake heads making her so well?

    and I agree with your every word about the show last night.

  2. Anonymous Says:

    I have no idea WTF you are talking about, but glad your having a good time.

    Pat K

  3. Rude Cactus Says:

    Okay, I admit to knowing nothing about project runway. But isn’t tivo the best? Like the inventor should win a nobel prize kinda good?

  4. roo Says:

    Yeah, I’m glad I didn’t have the energy to do my PR review the other day– you summed it up nicely.

    I am curious why Vincent, who was so worried about having all that extra fabric, didn’t put bigger seam allowances in his dress, though.

    Do you ever watch that show “Monk”? Jeff referred to it, as we watched Vincent getting booted. Vincent was rambling on about his mad dressmaking skillz, and summed it up by saying, “It’s a gift.”

    Jeff added, “…And a curse.”

    I don’t care for Jeffrey’s work most of the time, but I have a feeling he’ll edge out Uli for the final three. I’m hoping Michael takes it all, though– a great designer, with a sharp mind and a generous heart.

    All right, shutting up now…

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