Happy (Fucking) Birthday to Me

Today is my 39th birthday.

Which, I’m actually just fine with.   I’m sure next year I’ll have a fit over turning 40, but 39 isn’t bugging me at all.

However.

I mentioned to Baby Girl that I was thinking about getting a nose ring.  She wrinkled up her nose and said, ‘Really?’.

She then informed me that I was not ‘hard core’.   She said I wasn’t the ‘type’ to get a facial piercing.

I’m pretty sure I’m offended, only I can’t figure out exactly how.

My inclination is to join a biker gang and get a tattoo on my forehead that says ‘Pookie’s Bitch’ just to prove how very hard core I am.

Either that or go through with a nose piercing.

Anybody here ever get their nose pierced?  Was it awful? Did it hurt more than, say, a stubbed toe?  Not a regular stubbed toe, but where your pinkie toe hits something in the middle of the night and it feels as though it’s been torn off your foot entirely?

Also, I need to know if boogers get all caught up on the part of the ring that’s inside the nose?  Will I have to learn a whole new nose picking technique?     This shit is important. I need input.

*************

Oh, and today is also Jen’s birthday, so it would make me really happy if y’all were to hop over to her place and wish her a happy birthday too.

*************

I would like to give a shout out to Lloyd, who in the comments from the last entry, played the work ‘fuck’ like a fucking virtuoso.   He makes the rest of us look like fucking pikers.  The fucker.

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23 Responses to “Happy (Fucking) Birthday to Me”

  1. Pookie Says:

    Happy birthday to my bitch!

  2. Michelle Says:

    Happy Birthday to you!

    Piercings: had ’em. Yes on the nose and yes on the whole new way of pickin’ yer nose. Keep in mind also the scar factor for when you decide to opt out. And the rolling over while you’re sleeping and getting it pushed into the other side o’ yer nose from the pillow. (it happens) And accidental baby kicks to the face. (happens) And when you’re sick, blowing your nose takes on a whole new meaning. And by God, if you ever decide to take it out and have to deal with sneezing and blowing stuff out the SIDE of your face instead of just down and out … MAN. OH, and infections. Let’s not even talk about those and the scars they leave.

    I went for nipple piercings and tongue too. Ya wanna be hard core?! Trust me when I say it’s hard core to sit there and let ’em stab the 2nd one as well.

    Oh, and I did all this just a few years ago. I think it’s an age thing.

    And let me just close by saying I used to work in a tattoo/piercing parlour … I could tell you some STORIES.

  3. magneto bold too Says:

    Happy Birthday to my favourite potty mouth. Smootch.

    I am thinking better to go with the huge mutha holes in the ears and then chucking a lump of wood through it.

    That, my friend, is hardcore.

    Then when you get to your eighties you can loop your boobs through them to keep em out of your soup.

  4. magneto bold too Says:

    Happy Birthday to my favourite potty mouth. Smootch.

    I am thinking better to go with the huge mutha holes in the ears and then chucking a lump of wood through it.

    That, my friend, is hardcore.

    Then when you get to your eighties you can loop your boobs through them to keep em out of your soup.

  5. Miz Robyn Says:

    Happy birthday!

    You will never convince your child that you’re hardcore enough for… anything. To them, you’re just MOM and MOM cannot be hardcore or badass. Believe me, I’ve tried to convince mine that I’m badass, and she just laughs at me. Hmph.

  6. Kizz Says:

    Happy Birthday! Welcome to 39. It’s….weird. But not awful.

  7. bekah Says:

    Happy birthday. And I had a friend who had issues with her nose ring never really healing right and leaving a small scar on her nose… always looked strange. I have an earring up on the top part of my ear. It’s “unusual” but still looks fancy with a diamond in it. I recommend that, and it didn’t hurt at all.

  8. fauve Says:

    Forget the nose ring. If getting shot in the head didn’t impress Baby Girl, nothing will…

    Happy Birthday!!

  9. Chris Says:

    Happy Fucking Birthday!

  10. grandma Patsy Says:

    Happy Birthday!!
    39 isn’t bad , hey, Jack Benny was 39 for most of his life.Ok I’m showing my age.It was so easy I don’t remember it.40 wasn’t bad either but fifty just about did me in.and 60 well you know your not middle age any more unless I manage to make it to 120!
    I won’t even comment on nose piercing,I don’t even have my ears pierced!I am way to much of a wimp to purposefully put myself in pain.
    See ya real soon, love ya!

  11. Kiraa Says:

    Happy Birthday! I’m only 23 and I thought perhaps I’m too old to get a nose ring? But…then again…maybe not. Good luck!

  12. mrschili Says:

    Happy fucking birthday! Welcome to 39!

    I can’t say that I want a nose ring (and Michelle up there makes it sound OH SO pleasant), but I DO want to get a weird piercing in my ear, sort of where an ear cuff would sit, down low on the inside curve of the structure of the ear. I’ve got a pretty little ring that sits there, but sometimes I think I’d like to have it pierced so I don’t have to deal with it anymore. But, of course, I’m a baby and don’t like volunteering for pain, so it’ll probably never happen.

    Good luck with the tattoo on the forehead. I’m betting that shit like that might fly in Texas, but New Englanders are going to have a hard time getting past it (unless, of course, we’re talking about Bike Week; there, you’re in!)

  13. Isabel Says:

    You ARE hardcore enough for it.

    Happy Birthday!

  14. Pat K Says:

    Happy Birthday!!

    Nose ring = yuck.

  15. lloyd Says:

    I’m old and on occasion I will watch a girls Gone Wild video just to jog my memory. While I don’t care much for the nose rings, the tongue thing and the under the lower lip thing, or, for that matter an excess of metal on a woman’s ears, I’m coming around to a ‘little’ thing in the nose.
    Back to GGW. While I have noticed they have made great strides in the depilatory department, I’m a little distraught to see that they a poking holes in all of the nice lady parts that I have spent my entire adult life being soooo careful with and Then sticking all of them full of pieces of METAL!

  16. Emily Says:

    Well, happy birthday, you uncool old fart 🙂

  17. jen from boston Says:

    Happy birthday, C. I don’t know how I didn’t write this, you know, YESTERDAY but uh… welll.

    Anyway, you know that commercial where the coach’s menltdown at the mention of the playoffs and he’s all, “PLAYOFFS? PLAYOFFS?! ” replace ‘playoffs’ with “nose ring” for me. I am SURe you are hardcore enough, just the stuff Michelle mentions would make me a little leery.

  18. Mandy Lou Says:

    Happy (belated) b-day Contrary darlin’! You are most definitely hard core enough for a nose ring – the question is do you have the right nose? Not to mention all the scary stuff Michelle said – yikes. Though I have been pondering a mid-life crisis eyebrow piercing…

  19. Dan Says:

    Happy Birthday.

    you are a lot older than me, just thought i’d let you know that.

  20. Pookie Says:

    Geeze, Dan, you don’t look a day under 46!

  21. Cathy Says:

    I say go for the nipples. Pierced nipples says bad ass with a capital B.

    Happy 39 …I enjoyed my 39 so much I decided to stay there.

  22. Pookie Says:

    I’m with you, Cathy!

  23. Organic Mama Says:

    Happy belated fucking birthday. I fell off the planet but I am back now to say that 39 is fairly fantastic and please don’t get a nose ring.


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