Pooter and I were sitting in the drive-thru at Mickey D’s this evening having a chat, when I looked around and noticed that he had unbuckled his seat belt and was standing up in his car seat.
I put the van in park, right where we sat, and stepped back there with him to fix it. While I was stepping and fixing, I was also, well, yelling a little bit. Along the lines of, ‘Have you lost your ever-loving mind?’ and ‘If we have an accident you could be badly hurt, which might knock some sense into your head!’.
As I settled back into my seat, he started crying a little because his feelings were hurt, which usually turns me into a puddle of stupid. This time, though, I told him to just keep on crying because I wasn’t so happy myself.
Just a second later, three police cars go speeding by on the streets, lights and sirens blaring away.
He asked if they were coming to arrest us (where does he get the drama gene?) and I told him that no, we had not broken the law and the police had no reason to arrest us.
Him: Well, maybe they’ll arrest us for saying mean words. (Us, meaning me, of course)
Me: Using mean words isn’t against the law.
Him: Yes, it is.
Me: No, it’s not.
Him: Yes, it is (we’re now deep into the seventh circle of arguing with a kid hell)
Me: No. It’s isn’t. You know what is against the law, though? Unbuckling your seatbelt and standing up in your car seat. That’s against the law big time, buddy. Got anything else you want to say?
Him: Vile woman. (Ok, so he just thought that part)
This is the same kid who argued with Pookie the other day about whether a particular dog was ‘big’. Pooter’s position was that it was a big dog. Pookie’s position was that it was a small dog. My position was that no matter how much Pookie says the kids get their stubborn streaks from me, I know the truth. (I fully expect Pookie to argue with this, as he is very, very stubborn. In case I haven’t mentioned it)
They argued about it off and on all morning. It was hilarious.
I’m not sure where Pooter gets all that righteous indignation, but it’s awesome to behold. If he thinks he’s right, he’s right.
Oh, and it was a short, fat cocker spaniel, which means they were both right, depending on how you look at it.
In sad news, it turns out that Chuck Norris has no sense of humor. A nation mourns. The pissant.
Elvis Presley singing Blue Christmas: