I really don’t think this is too much to ask


Dear Boston Red Sox,

First of all, congratulations on your World Series victory.  You’ve truly overcome the curse of the Babe.  Two series wins in 4 years is Teh Awesome.   You have my admiration.    I also love that you did it again without that squirrelly fuck Johnny Damon, who left you to go play for the Spankees.

I plan to become a full-time dedicated Red Sox fan when we move to New Hampshire in a few years, and I promise to be as fervent and rabid as any fan you ever had.

However, it would be lovely if y’all could just stop sucking up all the ‘We haven’t won in a hundred years and it’s our turn” karma, already.

I really feel it’s important that the Cubs at least make it to the Series (and of course, my preference would be that they take the whole thing) before I become your full time fan.    As you may already know, it is impossible for a Cubs fan to give up on them.   Oh, sure, we’ll get frustrated and throw our hands in the air and swear to God that we’ll never get sucked in again. But then next season rolls around and we manage to find this tiny shriveled-up kernel of hope and then we’re off and running again.

Now, I realize that you and the Cubs aren’t even in the same division, so I am not asking you to help them, per se.  I’m just saying that if you could put it out there in the universe that you’re good to go on Series wins for the moment and you think it would be good for the Cubs to get it , that would be great.

Oh, and if you should both make it to the series at the same time in the next few years, I want you to know something.   I hope they kick the everloving shit out of you.

After that, though, I’m all yours.


5 Responses to “I really don’t think this is too much to ask”

  1. Pookie Says:

    I was rooting for the Sox, and have never cared one way or the other about the Rockies. But watching the game tonight, I was totally impressed with the Rockies fans. Trailing 3-0 in the Series, down 3-0 in the game, looking like a sweep was imminent, they were still on their feet, waving their towels, cheering like they were about to win the ring.

    They were gracious to the visiting team, and the stadium erupted in cheers even when the Rockies lost on that final strike.

    It dawned on me that Denver is a baseball town, but they just never had a baseball team until 1993. And now they’ve got a team that made it to the Series. Gotta love ’em just because they love baseball.

    Congratulations, BoSox! I promise to always support you (unless you’re playing the Cardinals).

    Oh, and please don’t let Mike Lowell go to the Yankees, like that traitorous !@#$!@# Damon.

  2. Mrs. Chili Says:

    There’s a lot of talk in the New England news media about how, now that the Sox have won so handily – combined with the Patriots’ crazy wining streak – the “curse” of New England sports teams is effectively over. New England fans don’t know how to love their teams unless they’re regularly and heartbreakingly disappointed. If we get “too good,” the theory goes, we won’t really know how to be true New England fans anymore.

    This may be true.

  3. Fish Says:

    Yay Sox! Now would you PLEASE come here to Houston and play some games in a NL ballpark with a cool roof and fireworks and let us see some of you play in person?

    It didn’t bother me until this year that the best player I ever really get to see is Pujoles, and when you live in Houston, people wear “I Hate Poo Holes” shirts to the game and it makes me spit soda out my nose. Which makes it hard to follow the game without a roll of paper towels. Just sayin’.

  4. WTF r u ntz Says:

    the name i used says it all.

  5. Kizz Says:

    OK it’s this phrase that bugs me: “As you may already know, it is impossible for a Cubs fan to give up on them.”

    As we MAY know?!?!?! If anyone understands the heartbreak of hope as well as a Cubs fan it’s a Red Sox fan. We KNOW! If I were going to root for an NL team it’d BE the Cubs. Some teams have fair weather fans but our towns know what it’s like to be a true fan, to have all that dashed hope.

    Here’s one tiny warning, though, you don’t get over it. Even if you win 2 titles in 4 years you’re still afraid. Your hope is still tainted with fear at every pitch. If you’re looking for the time when you’ll be able to say, “Whew, there, all done.” I’m here to tell you it doesn’t really happen.

    Good luck, though!

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