In less than 48 hours, my baby boy will be home. For 2 whole weeks.
That’s as exciting as this post gets because I honestly cannot think about anything else.
For those who may not know, my oldest son, Nate, is the Army. He is stationed in California and it has been more than a year since we last saw him. We miss him BADLY.
In lieu of actual content (because of the excitement!) I will tell a story on the boy.
The story is entitled: To This Day, One of the Most Embarrassing Moments of My Life.
Subtitled: Thanks a LOT, Nate, You Little Sumbitch
What had happened was, we were in a grocery store, waiting in line at the checkout. It was a bit of a wait and I was perusing the impulse items. I was eying the candy bars, thinking about having one. You know, on impulse. LIKE THE GROCERY STORE MEANT FOR ME TO, NATE.
So anyway, I make my selection and reach out to grab it (was likely a Twix, for the curious among you) and Nate flings himself in front of the candy bars, throws his arms in front of the candy in a protective manner and yells (oh yes, he yelled), ‘Mom, Nooooo!’
I swear to God and all that is holy, I almost killed the little bastard right there in Brookshire’s.
What I did instead was laugh weakly, mutter something about my diabetic aunt, fling money at the cashier for my groceries (which did NOT include any fucking candy bars) and hurried my ass out of there like it was on fire and I had an extinguisher in the car.
He was about 10 years old at the time and in the roughly 10 years since, he has pissed me off any number of times but he has never managed to surpass that occasion.