At least I’m still cooler than him. (Now edited for your clarification!)

I’m calling my brother Joel. It’s 10:30ish on a Saturday night:

Him: h’lo?

Me: Hey, what’s up?

Him: Who is this?

Me: Your sister.

Him: Who??? (you could HEAR the multiple question marks, y’all)

Me: Your SISTER, dumbass. You awake?

(this is where I explain that usually if I suspect I’ve woken someone with a phone call, I end the call quickly with an apology, but this is the same motherfucker who woke me up about a week ago to talk about our family’s genealogy and would not let me off the phone no matter how many times I said ‘I’m asleep’. What goes around comes around, is what I’m saying here)

Him: What time is it!? (you can just hear him getting worked up. He’s ready to blow a gasket and call me names that I’m too polite to use here)

Me: 10:35. On a Saturday night.

Him:

Me: (silent snickering)

Him:

Me: (still snickering, only not so silently)

Him. Oh. Crap. So I’m just really lame and old then, right?

Me: Why, yes. Yes, you are.

Him: You’re gonna put this on your fucking blog thingie right?

Me: Well, duh.

I think I’m gonna get him the big bottle of Geritol for his birthday.

This is the part where I bring the clarification smackdown: What made it funny (to us, anyway, since Joel was cracking up every bit as much as I was), was how wound up he was getting, so sure that I had called him at 3 AM.    I guess you had to be there. Which…y’all weren’t!   So sorry.

(To Mrs. Chili: If you love that I call my brother a dumbass, you should hear the other shit I call him and my other brothers.  You would be MOST amused. Trust me)

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3 Responses to “At least I’m still cooler than him. (Now edited for your clarification!)”

  1. mrschili Says:

    I love that you call your brother “dumbass.” Ever since I made aquaintances with Jeff Dunham, it’s been my favorite epithet.

  2. Little Miss Moi Says:

    Dear contrary. So.. sorry. I’m lost. Can you explain what’s so bad about being in bed at 10:35 on a Saturday night…?

  3. Chris Says:

    Nice. The other night Beth asked me if I wanted to watch something we’d TiVoed. I looked at the clock and say, “no, it’s late.” It was 9:00. How pathetic is that?


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