In lieu of anything remotely original…

Fauve (who is supposed to have this little accenty thing above her name, but I can’t do it), tagged me for the 5 Things You Don’t Know about Me Meme.

I’ve had this one before, but since I can thnk of 5 MORE things you don’t know about me, I’m gonna do it again.

Also, we (and by we, I mean the entire internet) need some new memes. Maybe we could have a ‘Who’s your favorite Beatle and why?’ meme. Or something equally timely and topical.

Anyway, here goes:

1) I woke up with a swollen tongue the other morning. Despite being able to do a dead on imitation of Shirley Temple, it still wasn’t the most pleasant experience of my life. And to those who laughed as I lisped: Bite me.

2) I’m tall. Not Kareem Abdul Jabar tall, but certainly taller than average. One time, when I was lying across the foot of my (short) mother’s bed while we listened to the radio, Randy Newman’s Short People started playing. My mother literally kicked me off the bed (with her stubby little feet) when I started snickering and snorting at the song. In my experience, short people are mean and kind of sensitive.

3) I’m originally from Iowa. Which I may have mentioned before. My dad was from Iowa and my mom from Louisiana. So we went back and forth from one extreme to the other. My mother called us her little Crispix (half corn, half rice) and we all talk funny. We don’t fit in anywhere. And we didn’t even get that pleasing non-accent thing. We just sound fucked up. Ex: ‘Hey, y’all, who wants a pop?

4) I am currently reading On The Road by Jack Kerouac. Not because I care about the Beat Generation (I think everyone should just get a job and quit bitching already), but because I perceive it as being part of the college experience and since I didn’t go to college, I want to make sure I’m not missing out on anything. It’s actually a pretty good read. I expect to start wearing a beret and smoking cheroots just any old time now. Also, I’ll be taking up the LSD soon. I’m pretty sure you haven’t lived until you’ve had a bad trip.

5) I’ll be giving notice at my job this week because I’ll be opening my own place (with a couple friends). Which is much bigger news than that one little sentence can convey and the main reason I haven’t been posting much.

To those who worry that this will keep us from moving to New Hampshire (Mrs. Chili and PatK, I’m looking at you here), trust me. We’re coming. But it will be nice to be happy at work in the meantime.

So, tell me something I don’t know about you.

12 Responses to “In lieu of anything remotely original…”

  1. Pookie Says:

    I know some things about Contrary, but I’m not telling. I’m allergic to death.

    And we are VERY excited about the new business. I’m not technically one of the partners, but since I’m Contrary’s partner in everything, I guess I’m half of a partner. She’s worked very hard putting this business deal together. The way everything fell into place at the last moment, after much frustration, can reasonably be attributed to Providence. I’m sure she’ll be posting the details later.

    And now I get to work very hard building pens and kennels and doing everything I can to make sure my snookums has the best working environment she can have.

  2. Jo is the last to know Says:


    … and call a muthafucka next time you have big news.. so said muthsfucka doesn’t have to read it on ya blog.

    *giving you the stink eye*

  3. Lynnster Says:

    I will overlook your prejudice against short people – hee – long enough to say BIG CONGRATULATIONS on the new business venture!! You hid that news so well in the meme I almost overlooked it. What fantastic news!

    Congrats and best of luck with this – I’ll be looking forward to the new tales of being the owner!! Have a blast!!

  4. WTF r u ntz Says:

    no jo baby YOU ARE NOT THE last to know. congrats and hopefully it will be as successful or even more so than Creature Comforts.

  5. kate1976 Says:

    Eek congratulations!!!

    As for something you don’t know… erm…. I can fit my fist in my mouth, which is just nasty.

  6. mrschili Says:

    Congrats on the new business!! I’m glad that it won’t keep you from migrating, though – I really AM looking foward to meeting you crazy people…

    Something you don’t know about me… hmmmm.. that’s just about EVERYTHING, isn’t it? Well, unless you’ve been reading my chipping away at my “100 things” list. How about the fact that I’m a red-headed Scot with a REALLY long fuse? I don’t have the typical red-headed temper. It takes a lot to piss me off but, by the time you do, I’m really good and going and am difficult to disarm…

  7. Jo is 5' with her shoes on Says:

    I happen to know.. that Contrary… although Contrary is not fond of short people… she does love some, who just so happen to be short.

  8. Chris Says:

    I’ve never read Kerouac. But I always threaten to.

  9. Organic Mama Says:

    Congrats on the new place!! So when ARE ya movin to NH?

    Um, I can cross one eye ALL the way across while the other stays motionless. Just another (gross) service I provide, aside from frequent sarcasm, to my kids.

  10. Pat K Says:

    Congrats on the Biz !!

  11. AndyThePug Says:

    Congratulations! I hope it works out. I know how much you enjoy being your own boss.

    I’m expecting details, and soon! You know, the minor details like “name”, “location”, and “when”.

  12. sweatpantsmom Says:

    Congratulations! Spill some of the details, won’t you?

    Like kate1976 I, too can fit my entire fist in my mouth. Although the last time I did it in public was at an office party when I was working at NBC, and somebody still has it on film. I’m always afraid it’s going to turn up on one of those awful Funniest Videos shows…

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