Gesundeit! *

So every other Monday morning, I have to take a conference call. This is truly the most boring waste of time in any given day.

I am including reruns of M*A*S*H here (we get it; Radar has ears like a bat, Hawkeye is a tortured yet hilarious greasy haired Lothario, Hotlips is a Ho, and Frank is a freak of nature. Thanks.) (Ok, even though I said all that, I still totally love M*A*S*H and will watch it late into the night. Forgive me Alan Alda!

So, erm, anyway, usually during these conference calls, I doodle, or make funny faces or color in all the letters with holes in them on the call agenda sheet, or stare at the ceiling and wish for the sweet release of death.

My boss, who also sits in on these calls just generally puts up with me, because despite my astounding lack of maturity, I happen to be good at my job.

I know I’m good at it, because almost 3 months ago I told him that I no longer wanted the job and in fact wanted to go part-time. I told him that I would continue to do the job until he found someone else. Can you see how hard he’s working at finding my replacement? 3 months people. I could have gestated a third of a kid by now.

Ok, so as usual, I was incredibly bored during the call (blah-de-blah, grow the business, blah-de-blah, customer satisfaction, YAWN), and didn’t feel like doing any of the things I usually do to occupy myself, and blatantly reading the book I had in my purse might stretch even my boss’ patience.

I thought about writing out a blog post in longhand, but really, I think we all know I’m too lazy for that kind of thing. Right? Shut up.

So I decided to take a page out of Chris‘ book and write some haiku. Sadly, Chris is much better at it than I am (don’t believe me? Check out every Monday morning on his blog), but I was pretty pleased with these.

Behold, my foray into really bad Haiku:

1) Who’s to blame for this?
Alexander Graham Bell
can kiss my heinie

2) Please shoot me if I
ever agree to be boss
again. I beg you.

3) Big fish in small pond
will, in time, find hook in mouth
to be a relief

4) When idiot says
something spectacularly
stupid during call

It is most prudent
to keep your ‘well,duh!’ quiet;
don’t say it out loud.

Oops. Though, I have to say the look on my boss’ face, coupled with his frantic (yet quiet!) shushing noises was pretty hilarious.

*Get it? Haiku? Gesundeit! Funny, right?


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