I hate it when he’s right.

Last evening, I announced to Pookie that the girl child and I wanted him to take us to the Fair.

His response was a resounding…well, whatever sound an annoyed grunt makes. Suffice to say, he wasn’t really excited about it.

So we head out early this afternoon, in the scorching heat, because Mother Nature was just fucking with us last week when it almost felt like Fall outside. I hate that bitch.

As soon as we got there, I signed up for a raffle to win a drivable Lightning McQueen for the little man. Which I would LOVE to give him for his birthday, but Pookie won’t let me buy him one from the store because they are eleventy million dollars. Yet another example of how unreasonable the man is. Y’all keep your fingers crossed that I win the raffle. Or your toes. Or your eyes, if you wish to be supportive and amusing.

We gorged ourselves on such delicacies as gator on a stick, sausage on a stick and catfish on a stick. Because we are a family of gourmands, that’s why. I also made Pookie buy me a funnel cake, which I took two bites of and then gave to a friend of the girl child. Because he looked skinny and hungry. And also because I was going to explode if I took another bite. (side note to girl who made the funnel cake: Believe it or not, there is a limit to how much powdered sugar should be on a funnel cake. Find that limit and work within it, please. Funnel cake killing bitch.)

We also drank our combined weight in lemonade. Many, many lemons died in our quest for hydration. We salute you, you brave little yellow bastards.

We’ve now been home for quite some time, and I still want to punch anyone who mentions food, we’re all exhausted, and we’re quite a bit broker.

I really do hate it when he’s right.

8 Responses to “I hate it when he’s right.”

  1. Pookie Says:

    Gourmands, eh? I just thought we liked to eat a lot…

    Just stick it:

  2. Jothegourmand Says:

    Had to look that up…

    Main Entry: gour·mand
    Pronunciation: ‘gur-“mänd, -m&nd
    Function: noun
    Etymology: Middle English gourmaunt, from Middle French gourmant
    1 : one who is excessively fond of eating and drinking
    2 : one who is heartily interested in good food and drink

    aight. Now I get it.

  3. Mrs.Chili Says:

    I’m sorry: GATOR? On a STICK?! Seriously? I mean, I can get behind sausage on a stick and, if I try really hard, catfish on a stick – though such things aren’t sold at fairs in New England, so if you’ve a deep and abiding love of catfish on a stick, I suggest you make a point of going to fairs and tank up as often as possible before you leave – but seriously?! GATOR?!

    Anyway, I’m pretty sure there’s something about fair food that just makes you feel like cah-cah later, regardless of how much (or how little) you eat. And then there’s the question of the smell. There are such heavenly and enticing smells eminating from fair booths – the mouthwatering waft of a New England fair favorite, sausage, onion, and green pepper sub sandwiches; the crispy, homey smell of fried dough (or funnel cakes, though fried dough is much more common in New England fairs); the sweet, sticky smells of caramel and candy apples and cotton candy; the tang of lemonade. The smells never seem to live up to their promises, though, once the eleventy zillion dollars are spent and the delicacies consumed. There always seems to be a kind of leaden weight left in one’s tummy after the feeding frenzy comes to an end.

    Pepto, anyone?

  4. Andy Says:

    Oh? What fair did y’all go to?

    Oh, and any food is good on a stick. Particularly anything fried.

  5. sweatpantsmom Says:

    This has got to be the funniest thing I’ve read in a while.

    And believe it or not, it made me hungry and want to go to the fair.

  6. Anonymous Says:

    Then there’s Monkey on a stick….
    Hope it cools off a bit for ya.

    Pat K

  7. Pat K Says:

    Also WTF is a drivable Lightning McQueen?

    It sounds like something you might find in the East Village.

    Pat K

  8. VeryContrary I also napped and sat on my ass a lot « Says:

    […] Foods consumed off a stick because I didn’t learn anything the last time: […]

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