Ok, so we’re here. After many long weeks of travel in our covered wagon, with only hardtack and bisquits for sustenence, we have arrived in New Hampshire. The natives seem to be friendly, though they do seem a bit taken aback at our manner of speech. They shared with us a delicious local treat called a ‘meatball grinder’.
Alright, I’ll stop now.
So, anyway, we are here. It only took us 2 days, because if there was an Ironman of Driving contest, Pookie would totally wipe the floor with the competition. I drove *maybe* a total of 2 hours the whole trip. I know what you’re thinking. Why didn’t I help more with the driving? Am I just that fucking lazy? Well, apparently, yes.
For one, I have this cute little habit of nodding off in a moving vehicle after more than an hour. whether or not I’m driving, unless someone is talking to me. So basically, when I get fussy and won’t go to sleep at night, Pookie can just buckle me into my carseat and drive me around the block a couple times because I am an infant. A lame, narcoleptic infant who drinks too much coffee.
Our first morning on the road (after I woke up) I attempted to pour myself some coffee from the thermos. I am apparently no better at pouring than I am at staying awake and managed to pour coffee all over my thighs. While wearing sweatpant. Did y’all know that sweatpants will retain the heat of spilt coffee? Well, they will.
Pookie couldn’t safely pull over, so I did the only thing I could do. I pulled the pants off and rode commando until he could stop. It was a little unnerving. And uncomfortable. And never ride with a bare bottom on leather seats. Trust me on this.
I recovered from my third degree burns surprisingly quickly. I may never recover from riding down the road hoping truckers aren’t glancing into the van . Therapy may be in order.
THEN. Last night, while walking back from the showers here at the campground, I turned off my flashlight so the fucking bugs would quit flying up my fucking nose. I then tripped over a picnic table and knocked the tee total shit out of my leg. I didn’t cry, but it was close.
Stay tuned for pictures. This place is GORGEOUS, y’all.