The Searchers

Hi! Welcome to yet another inaugural post.

I thought for this, the first post at the new place, I’d take the coward’s way out and do a post about some of the searches people have done that have led them to me.

Hey! Come back! Some of these are good, I swear!

1) Flirting with cousins– Heh. I’d like to claim no knowledge of why someone would find me while looking for this, but the sad fact is that my family is southern, there are a LOT of cousins, and back in the day most of us were very attractive.

2) Donut Jokes– I get this one EVERY DAY. Who the hell needs that many donut jokes?

3) Kevin Eubanks’ salary– (he’s Jay Leno’s band director) I don’t how much Kevin makes, but he’s hell on a horn.

4) I was charged for a free orthodontist consultation– Dude, that sucks, but there’s really nothing I can do for you. I would suggest a call to your local Better Business Bureau.

5) slung of pig in a blanket– Um. Well, alrighty then.

6) world’s laziest boss award– Wait, there’s an award? Oh, hellz yeah, I’m a total shoe-in!

7) coping with brown nosers at work– I’ll have to ask my boss, who is the sweetest, smartest, bestest boss in the whole world. ( I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.)

8) over 70 years old grannies masturbating (I actually cut the most offensive bits out of this one)- Dude, you need help. Seriously.

9) “copping a feel”– Well, it depends on whom you’re copping, but in general, I’m all for it.

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